The Passion of the Western Mind

October 5, 2018October 5, 2018 / Beth Jacobs Bowen / 1 Comment

When we seek to explore classical, Christian, and contemporary concepts surrounding the soul, especially with regard to the presence or absence of a structured afterlife, it is easy to see similarities between the three and realize that the classical understandings have served as the foundation upon which more spiritual connotations surrounding the soul have been devised. However, as our understanding of the universe expands and grows, so does our conscious theory on meaning and purpose. From pre-Socratic notions surrounding mind, body, and soul, borne from limited scope and understanding of our physical universe, to the focused religiosity within the Christian translation to the more contemporary, existentialist perspective adopted by many in today’s society, the meaning of life, the purpose we serve on this earth, and the exploration of both in a future, post-death tense, has transformed throughout human history, in adaptation to human thought and societal influence.

Hellenistic Views of the Classical Age

The earliest forms of philosophical thought, developed and recorded by ancient scholars during the Classical Era of 1400BC-500AD, offered the first, and arguably the most salient, musings on what would become the formative Western exploration of the human condition. Richard Tarnas, in his work The Passion of the Western Mind: Understanding the Ideas Which Have Shaped Our World View, refers to this study, this inquiry into purpose and meaning, this “…intellectual task as a romantic quest of universal significance”, finding that “knowledge of the world’s underlying structure and meaning entails the exercise of a plurality of human cognitive faculties– rational, empirical, intuitive, aesthetic, imaginative, mnemonic, and moral” (19). Human nature is a varied and subjective topic, but there are enough consistencies and inherent commonalities amongst humans that we can collectively recognize and theorize what it entails and how it serves to promote, explain, or affect, the meaning and purpose of life.

The classical concept of the soul, as explained thoroughly by early philosopher Socrates, in various works written by philosopher and writer Plato, was borne of this new query into existence and purpose, both of the human form and the universe. In one of Plato’s early works Apology, he demonstrates how unreceptive those who held great power over the people within society were of this new philosophy, these abstract ideas of Socrates which challenged all that Romans had known of the existence of gods, and their own notions of wisdom and understanding. In Apology, Socrates explains, ”If I say that this even happens to be a very great good for a human being—to make speeches every day about virtue and the other things about which you hear me conversing and examining both myself and others—and that the unexamined life is not worth living for a human being, you will be persuaded by me less when I say these things” (14). Socrates’ death, and the philosophy for which he was put to death over, prompted Plato to delve into a life of detailed and recorded introspective query.

In Plato’s second period of literary achievement, his work Phaedo, among others, began to explore the human condition, its purpose and meaning, and questioned its alignment with the universe at large. In Phaedo, Socrates, nearing his demise, speaks on the three qualities of man which serve to function congruently to materialize the soul: the mind, and its ability to reason, the emotions, and their influence over the mind, and our animal instincts, and their innate effect on our actions and thoughts. Socrates proposed that these three qualities, in their intangible yet essential state, collectively formed the soul, known in the Classical Era as the psyche, and that the cultivation of reason above both instinct and emotion was the only way to “foster true success and excellence in human life” (19). In this ancient understanding, Socrates presented the soul as a scientifically provable substance, akin to the odorless, colorless, formless oxygen we breathe. He stated that “the soul is evidently immortal”, and therefore should be the primary focus in one’s life, as all pleasures and privileges of the body will cease upon death, while the soul—the mind, emotion, and instinct—will continue on (14).

Plato continued to explore this three-pronged concept throughout his adult life, giving voice to his ideas, and those of others, through the various speakers he employed in his writings. In Timaeus, the titular named character, engrossed in conversation with Socrates, explains the basis for this trifecta of human existence, stating that “two things cannot rightly be put together without a third”, that “there must be some bond of union between them” (16). We see this pattern of threes developed in Phaedo, then explore it again with the three-part description of the soul in Timaeus, with the triangular union, and subsequent fusion, of the mind, body, and psyche, and again, in the Republic, Book IV, when Plato correlates the ordering of the three-part soul with the ordering of the three classes of society.

Just as subsequent eras and periods of philosophical thought were prompted by new understandings of the universe, and our place within it, the Classical Era focused on the astronomical knowledge of the cosmos at that time. Evidence of this is presented in the creation story within the Timaeus. Unburdened by religiosity or spirituality, this understanding was borne of the “Demiurge”, a word meaning worker, but used as creator by Plato. In order to best answer the most pressing questions Plato had concerning the cosmos, and their order and intelligent, divine design, which sought to “explain mathematically the erratic movements of the planets”, he wrote the Timaeus (19). In this work, he explained that the Demiurge was responsible for forming the world “from a chaos of primordial matter”, and that it “had created the heavens as a moving image of eternity, revolving precisely according to perfect mathematical ideas” (19). This perfection, this cosmic structural integrity, was to be repeated in man’s life, as a guideline for divine ordering of the mind, body, and soul. Plato took this concept a step further by offering a set of Laws for mankind, so that they would have a clear understanding of “that which tends most to the improvement of mind and body” and have a guide for the ordering of their soul (13).

Embracing this concept of triangular structure in human order and existence, classical philosopher Marcus Aurelius, in his work Meditations, addressed life as a drama, a play of sorts, writing that “… in life three acts are the whole drama” (3). In Aurelius’ understanding, human life is designed as a three-part growing process by which we ultimately learn to accept reason and develop the ability to recognize ourselves as a part of a whole, a mere subset of nature, which seeks to return to its primal state of existence in a predesigned, yet volatile, universe. Through a plentitude of references to Plato and other great philosophers who pondered our purpose and existence as humans on earth, within Meditations, Aurelius lays out a numbered plan for life, a set of rules for living the best possible earthly existence, so that the soul, the unifying link to nature and life, is best prepared for death. He insists these meditations on life are necessary because we are born into this earthly world as mostly helpless beings who cannot provide for themselves, much less have the grounded sense of reason and intelligence which is salient to passing life “in an equable flow of happiness” (3). Instead, we must learn to calm and control our instincts and innate desires and order ourselves through reason and enhanced understanding. Only then can we rectify our souls, and only then are we living righteously.

Unlike contemporary concepts surrounding death and the soul, where focus is placed on the spiritual debate surrounding Heaven, Hell, and the complete absence of either, the soul in classical conversation was centered on the mind-sciences of philosophy and psychology. Strengthening the soul through contemplative reasoning and inquiry and using one’s time on Earth to question our purpose, our existence, and our psyche, was deemed the supreme approach to life. Death, and its forced separation of the body and soul, was not to be feared, but instead welcomed, as it frees us of our bodily restraints, allowing us to live in a blissful state of expanded consciousness.

Both Aurelius and Plato found that our propensity towards fear and anger, especially when faced with death and disorder, and our learned ability to control such impulses and actions is what largely what contributes to our calming down and ordering. When we grow in mind and reason, through age, influence, and enhanced understanding, we better learn how to maintain a sense of order which is conducive to a good life, one which allows us to leave this world for the better. Through meditation and focused introspection, we evolve past the opening act of infancy, and learn to navigate as thoughtful, reasonable human beings throughout the middle act, to best prepare ourselves for the culminating third act of death and afterlife.

Christian Influence on Philosophy and Liberal Thought

As scientific concepts concerning the cosmos and their order began to evolve, and after a “spiritual crisis” appeared in Hellenistic culture, which left “its members impelled by newly conscious needs for personal significance in the cosmos and personal knowledge of life’s meaning”, Christianity emerged as an answer to their pressing questions, a faith-based solution to their needs (19). Initially considered an “unthinking” belief by scholars of that period, Christian thought presented itself as a salient system of introspection, and “the use of reason to examine and defend articles of faith… and the discipline of logic in particular…rapidly ascended in both educational popularity and theological importance” (19).

In its dominant state, the Christian world view transformed societal understanding of the cosmos, and of the inherent meaning of both the universe and the human soul. Heaven would not only consist of a physical, albeit celestial, location, but it would also serve as the abiding place of the Christian God, therefore establishing itself as the primary aim for a pious and righteous life on Earth. Under this new belief, “God had bestowed to man the ability to determine freely his position in the universe”, equipping him with the ability to, through proper ordering of his spiritual soul, and by living his life in full devotion to God under the principles set forth in The Bible, ascend “…to full union with the supreme God” himself (19).

Around 380 AD, Aurelius Augustine, an educated Roman, growing in his own piety and religiosity, had a conversion experience which led to him becoming a Latin Father of the Church and one of the most prominent Christian thinkers in history (11). Revered for his intelligence, “his writings were so widely read and imitated throughout Latin Christendom that his particular synthesis of Christian, Roman, and Platonic traditions defined the terms for much later tradition and debate” (12). Augustine embraced the intellectual culture within the Christian world view, and ultimately transformed the philosophy surrounding the human condition for thousands of years.

Throughout history, we have experienced and recorded great men and women. We have been exposed to and understood righteousness and goodness through them. Yet, as Augustine surmised, in his work On Christian Doctrine, we have never, and will never, experience something as awe-inspiring, as incredible, as righteous, as God. As humans, even those of developed emotion and reason, we have no basis for real understanding of that which is well beyond our mental and physical reach. He writes, “For when the one supreme God of gods is thought of…their thought takes the form of an endeavor to reach the conception of a nature, than which nothing more excellent or more exalted exists” (2). Augustine speaks of God’s ineffability and gives a rounded perspective of how his unchanging nature lends to an overall truth, while also establishing His existence as the pinnacle of order.

Augustine goes on to assume that it is through this divinely inspired ordering that we beautify our souls for acceptance into the eternal abiding place of God. He writes, in closing On Christian Doctrine with an apology for its length, “… I have in these four books striven to depict…the sort of man he ought to be who desires to labor in sound, that is, in Christian doctrine, not for his own instruction only, but for that of others also” (2). Augustine designed his writing to utilize aspects of the Platonic understanding of order and psyche to support his belief in an omnipotent God, and the necessity of ordering the human soul to promote righteousness and address “the concern with the issue of how to make sense of and live within a world that seemed so adversarial and fraught with danger, a world in which so much of what matters most to us is so easily lost” (11). His extensive reach in society, and his heralded status within the church, saw to it that his instructions were both heard and taken as truth. Through St. Augustine’s writings and philosophy, the Christian Translation of the human condition was accomplished.

By the 1300s, when Dante Alighieri, an Italian soldier, political official, and poet, began to really embrace the “Aristotelian-Ptolemaic cosmology bestowed to Christianity”, ideas surrounding the human condition and soul had taken on new, faith-based understandings which centered around the omnipotent presence of a Christian God (19). As the “world view fully re-entered the Christian psyche”, Dante, in his writing, with special focus on his epic poem The Divine Comedy, “created a vast classical Christian mythology encompassing the whole of creation that would exert a considerable—and complex—influence on the later Christian imagination” (19). Ultimately, through an intensely visual journey into the realms of Earth, Hell, and Heaven, Dante gave imaginative understanding to the very fears and concerns maintained by society surrounding the human condition and experience.

Where Augustine provided medieval society with largely implicit instructions on the ordering of the Christian soul, in an attempt to achieve righteousness on Earth, that one might be dutifully rewarded with admittance to Heaven, Dante designed “the medieval vision”, the understanding of the human condition for a society bound to their faith (19). By exploring salvation through epic poem, Dante Alighieri established a somewhat flexible approach to the query of what happens after we die. Through Virgil and Dante (the character), Dante (the author) creates a mythical world wherein readers might excitedly follow the turmoil and strife of the characters on their personal journey through the inferno, purgatory, and paradise, while dually examining the realms of Heaven and Hell, and exploring their own concerns and questions with the soul’s afterlife. The Divine Comedy, which is centered around mythical concepts of medieval torture and eternal damnation, draws, and even demands at times, great reflection and introspection to the purpose and meaning of living a well-ordered, righteous life, built upon Christian principles. When Dante writes “On the right hand I saw new misery, new torments, and new tormentors…”, he establishes a visual understanding of our greatest fear… eternal damnation in the pits of Hell from leading a less-than righteous life and never gaining salvation (1). In The Divine Comedy, Dante created a quintessential piece of literature, through which people of all faiths and creeds might explore their own thoughts and fears surrounding salvation and life after death, and discover, as he had, that “the heavens were both numinous and humanly meaningful” (19).

In The Divine Comedy, Dante, by some influence of both Christian and Platonic thought, supposes that it is the very order of the universe, in combination with the design of our psyche, which explains our purpose on earth– which is to use our intellect to make reasonable, righteous choices in our thoughts and behavior, to utilize the “governor” we are gifted with at birth, to follow God’s plan and live lives which might lead us to eternal existence in Paradiso, rather than an immortal damnation of our soul in the Inferno. Ultimately, the universe’s meaning, according to the Christian Translation, is to guide people to lives of reason and thoughtful action, in an effort to condition their souls for their eternal position within God’s paradise.

Through philosophical exploration of the human condition, and the universe at large, humans find contemplation which leads to an understanding of what God wants from them. In accomplishing this, humans learn to live in a way which pleases God, which follows his intent for them as free- willed humans who become righteous through purposeful action, faith, and reason-based intellect which centers upon goodness, so that their souls might reside in His celestial realm for eternity.

New Meaning in an Ancient World

By the Renaissance period, scholars had started to process the mathematically provable truths which were supported by that which could been seen in reality. As a result, their general understanding of the universe grew, allowing for the entry of new, verifiable information. This information, in turn, either supported their previously held beliefs, in that it offered calculable knowledge which promoted truth, or it served to challenge those beliefs, by offering irrefutable data which negated or disproved their current understanding. While the medieval period had built its knowledge upon the same cosmologic beliefs first adopted in the ancient period, new information presented in the Scientific Revolution suggested that the universe was designed by heliocentric organization, as delineated by Polish astronomer and mathematician Copernicus. This “Copernican insight… provoked and symbolized the drastic, fundamental break from the ancient and medieval universe” to the modern view of both the universe and the human condition (19).

As the Renaissance Era flourished, so did profound artistic and scientific revelations which ultimately challenged the Christian Translation of the human condition and threatened the power of the Catholic Church. Reformers, who sought to force change within the Church, through reformation of the strict guidelines established by the Old Testament, and “the Protestant spirit” which “prevailed in half of Europe” proved that “Christianity was no longer exclusively Catholic, nor monolithic, nor a source of cultural unity” (19). With this development came the first ideas of individualism, a concept which would expand into existential philosophy, and offer new meaning for the human condition and the Christian concept of the immortal soul.

The universe, in the time of Galileo Galilei, a scholar of “physics or natural philosophy, astronomy, and the methodology of science” was far more complex than previously understood (10). His ability to conceptualize what that meant, along with his enhanced understanding that we are “thinking beings”, greatly changed his outlook, by challenging his previously held beliefs (10). Yet, rather than allow this new understanding to negate his beliefs, he instead utilized it to support his thoughts on God. As “Roman Catholicism had allowed considerable latitude in intellectual speculation” for “most of the high Middle Ages and Renaissance”, Galileo was able to accept the Copernican revolution’s theories as divinable truth, which he had proven through development and use of his own telescope, with the understanding that “the Church had long been accustomed to sanctioning allegorical interpretations of the Bible whenever the latter appeared to conflict with scientific evidence” (19). In his masterpiece work Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems, Galileo, through the voice of Sagredo, states that “…a great ineptitude exists on the part of those who would have it that God made the universe more in proportion to the small capacity of their reason than to His immense, His infinite, power” (7). While this largely speaks to the nature of the universe itself, it also offers perspective on Galileo’s own outlook on the human condition and displays his continued support of an omnipotent Christian God as creator.

After the Scientific Revolution, and with the “geocentric illusion” of the universe replaced by the Copernican heliocentric model, Christian and classical concepts surrounding human meaning and “theological dogma and animistic superstition” were abandoned, giving way to the idea that “man was not an absolute, and his cherished values had no foundation outside of himself” (19). Ultimately, man was here alone, an entity only of himself, one borne of haphazard design, and any inference of spiritual meaning or religious divinity was deemed unreasonable. As this philosophy spread, and more people abandoned their plans for lives of righteousness and piety, “many reflective individuals began to turn inward, to an examination of consciousness itself as a potential source of meaning and identity in a world otherwise devoid of stable values” (19).

By the time René Descartes wrote his quintessential essays in Discourse on Method, he was an established mathematician, natural scientist, yet was still a man of faith. In order to link his belief in God with the newly discovered “collective unconscious and its archetypes” he established metaphysics, a contemporary study of the mind-body correlation (19). Through application of metaphysics, Descartes “provided arguments for the existence of God” in attempting to prove that “the essence of matter is extension, and that the essence of mind is thought” (9). This, for a time, quelled the volatile nature of the divided world view, where new meaning negated Classical thought, and the belief in individualism counteracted the spiritualism necessary for a Church-run state, for divinity, for righteousness. In Discourse on Method, Descartes wrote, “…it is possible to achieve knowledge which would be very useful for life…to find a practical philosophy” through which humans could essentially make themselves “the lords and masters of nature” (4). In accomplishing this, Descartes surmises that we effectively anchor our human rationality within the spiritual natural world.

Throughout the eighteenth century, this battle between Christian thought and human reason would lend to a new age of Enlightenment. In this new age, secularization flourished in the absence of credible evidence to support theological beliefs, and “neither human reason nor the empirical world could give any direct or unequivocal indication of a divine reality” (19). During this time, Romanticism led to the production of a plethora of artistic and philosophical works devoted to personal and societal changes in the modern world. Poet William Wordsworth was one of many prominent writers who explored “views on both his craft and his place in the world” in his work, as demonstrated in the following excerpt from the poem “An Evening Walk”:

“A mind, that, in a calm angelic mood

Of happy wisdom, meditating good,

Beholds, of all from her high powers required,

Much done, and much designed, and more desired, – –

Harmonious thoughts, a soul by truth refined,

Entire affection for all human kind” (22).

Wordsworth, like most poets and thinkers of the time, no longer needed an omnipotent God, or a theological association to find connection to the universe, even if he elected to believe in one. Built upon early, Platonic ideas of the proper ordering of the mind, Wordsworth, through use of his honed craft, speaks to the value of the calm, ordered mind, while simultaneously addressing the waning religiosity of modern society. Through this, Wordsworth, other writers and artists of the time, and even “art itself—music, literature, drama, painting—now took on a virtually religious status for the Romantic sensibility” and provided a “unique point of conjunction between the natural and the spiritual” (19). Romantic notions of individuality and natural connection gifted society with a spiritual buffer between the progressive, scientific understanding of the modern world and the concepts of Christian thought.

Much like preceding periods, the Romantic period eventually yielded to ever-growing existential thought, as human and societal development, and enhanced scientific understanding, sufficiently reduced theological philosophy and its involvement in the overall human condition to an elected belief, a chosen system of personal values held unreasonable by laws of nature and science. Beginning with German philosopher Frederic Nietzsche, and “his radical perspectivism, his sovereign critical sensibility, and his powerful …anticipation of the emerging nihilism in Western culture”, the Postmodern mind would approach the human condition, and any concepts surrounding meaning within the cosmic universe, as an “open-ended, indeterminate set of attitudes that has been shaped by a great diversity of intellectual and cultural currents” (19). This indefinite, non-fixed approach to philosophy demanded intense introspection on the part of the individual, while establishing itself as an unending study of the dynamic human condition.

With the understanding that the query into life’s purpose and meaning would be continuous, schools of thought would be dedicated to the study. The great philosophers of the contemporary period would devote their lives to this task, as would the pragmatic, progressive educator John Dewey. In his work School and Society, Dewey speaks to the salience of all persons having the opportunity to explore the human condition, stating, “only by being true to the full growth of all the individuals who make it up, can society by any chance be true to itself” (5). This thinking placed emphasis on experience as the primary factor in shaping and explaining meaning in life and followed suit with the “characteristics of the larger postmodern intellectual situation” (19).

Continuing with this era of self-exploration and empirical thought, Parisian philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre would establish himself as the Father of Existentialism with his infamous lecture “Existentialism is a Humanism”, which displayed the “major tenets of existentialist thought while revealing Sartre’s attempt to broaden its social application in response to his Communist and Catholic critics” (6). In this speech, when Sartre proclaimed that “man makes himself; he is not found ready-made; he makes himself by the choice of his morality, and he cannot but choose a morality, such is the pressure of circumstances upon him”, he set in motion the process of pragmatic exploration for all of mankind (8).

The concepts that we explore, in our current understanding of the human condition, have been designed through a myriad of societal change and development. Therefore, our quest for meaning in life is volatile, subject to everchanging conditions, and dependent upon our ability to experience life from a subjective perspective. Only when a society feels restricted in their growth, their liberation, their ability to explore new, learned avenues of existence and meaning, do they press beyond whatever restraints present themselves. From ancient, Platonic concepts of psyche, and the salient trifecta of ordering, to divine thought, as necessitated by an omnipotent, Christian God to Postmodern ideas of pragmatic exploration of the contemporary human condition, society expands and explores in response to the limitations placed upon it. Therefore, the quest of purpose and meaning in life remains subjective to the will of those in search.

Works Cited and Consulted

1. Alighieri, Dante. The Divine Comedy. Vintage Books, New York. 1932. Print.

2. Augustine. On Christian Doctrine. Beloved Publishing, 2014. Print.

3. Aurelius, Marcus, translated by George Long. Meditations. Mineola, N.Y: Dover Publications, 1997. Print.

4. Descartes, René. Discourse on Method. New York: Liberal Arts Press, 1956. Print.

5. Dewey, John. “The School and Social Progress.” Chapter 1 in The School and Society. Chicago: University of Chicago Press (1907): 19-44.

6. Flynn, Thomas, “Jean-Paul Sartre”, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2013 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), http://www.plato.stanford.edu/archives/fall2013/entries/sartre/>.

7. Galilei, Galileo, Stillman Drake, Dava Sobel, and Albert Einstein. Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems, Ptolemaic and Copernican. London: Folio Society, 2013. Print.

8. Guillaume, Vincent, Soline. Dorlodot, and Jean-Paul Sartre. “Existentialism Is a Humanism” by Jean-Paul Sartre., 2016. Internet resource.

9. Hatfield, Gary, “René Descartes”, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Summer 2018 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.),

10. Machamer, Peter, “Galileo Galilei”, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Summer 2017 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), http://www.plato.stanford.edu/archives/sum2017/entries/galileo/>.

11. Mendelson, Michael, “Saint Augustine”, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Winter 2016 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), http://www.plato.stanford.edu/archives/win2016/entries/augustine/>.

12. O’Donnell, James. “St. Augustine”. Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc. 2018. Web. http://www.britannica.com/biography/Saint-Augustine

13. Plato, Benjamin Jowett, and Plato. The Dialogues of Plato. Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc, 1990. Print.

14. Plato, and G M. A. Grube. Five Dialogues. Indianapolis, IN: Hackett Pub. Co, 2002. Print.

15. Plato, translated by Benjamin Jowett. Republic. New York: Barnes & Noble, 2004. Print.

16. Plato, translated by Benjamin Jowett. Timaeus. Indianapolis: Bobbs-Merrill, 1949. Print.

17. Rabin, Sheila, “Nicolaus Copernicus”, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2015 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), http://www.plato.stanford.edu/archives/fall2015/entries/copernicus/>.

18. Ruzicka, Stephen. “Passion of the Western Mind”. UNCG. Lecture Series. Web.

19. Tarnas, Richard. The Passion of the Western Mind: Understanding the Ideas That Have Shaped Our World View. New York: Ballantine Books, 2011. Print.

20. Wetherbee, Winthrop and Aleksander, Jason, “Dante Alighieri”, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2018 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), http://www.plato.stanford.edu/archives/fall2018/entries/dante/>.

21. “William Wordsworth”. Academy of American Poets. New York, New York. Web. http://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poet/william-wordsworth

22. Wordsworth, William. The Complete Poetical Works. London: Macmillan and Co., 1888; Bartleby.com, 1999. http://www.bartleby.com/145/.

Top Ten Dos and Don’ts for Turning 40

January 5, 2018March 23, 2022 / Beth Jacobs Bowen / 2 Comments

By Beth Jacobs Bowen
January 5, 2018

If you’re on social media, you’ve undoubtedly come across an article, or 20, which attempts to dictate what you should or should not be doing by the time you hit some milestone age. You know, the “Going to be 30 this year? Time to stop wearing dark eyeliner” … and the… “Is the Big 4-0 knockin’ at your door? No more jeans with holes for you!” type of unsolicited, unwarranted, advice-based articles. As someone who has lived through their 20s and 30s, and is heading into that seemingly barren wasteland of anti-aging products and Botox, I decided to devise my own list of dos and don’ts for turning 40:

1. Don’t seek life advice on Social Media

Whether it’s Quizlet telling you that you should move to Istanbul, based solely on your preference of 1980s pop music, that “friend” from college, who majored in business, diagnosing you with a psychological disorder based on your Facebook statuses, or some stupid list compiled by a bored, and possibly disillusioned, writer, who’s just trying to make some money… don’t listen.

Sure, quizzes and listicles are great ways to pass time, and some friends might actually have sage advice to offer, but the reality is that social media is designed to be a chipboard in the hallway of the gymnasium of life. It provides a social cubicle for the masses, giving them their own special place to advertise and elicit response to their daily lives. It is not, however, designed to support, or even identify, truth or accuracy. Actually, it serves to do quite the opposite, and has become a cesspool of misinformation, mistruths, and misguided advice.

Consider this: I have 9 Facebook friends who are certified psychologists or psychiatrists, and in the 5 years I’ve been using the platform, not a single one has ever attempted to counsel or analyze someone publicly. However, I have at least 30 friends, who are stay-at-home moms/dads, teachers, salespeople, you name it, who attempt to diagnose others with clinical disorders nearly daily.

Don’t let anyone, anything, any list or quiz, tell you what you should or should not do with your life. Ninety percent of the people you encounter on social media are completely unqualified to offer life advice, and one hundred percent of the quizzes you take are utter nonsense… so enjoy them for what they are, just don’t make life decisions based on them.

2. Do what makes you truly happy

I don’t care if it’s singing at the top of your lungs while driving to work each morning, dancing around the kitchen naked with a glass of wine, or napping until dinner time, then going back to bed… if it makes you happy, and you aren’t hurting anyone in the process, then go for it.

This, obviously, includes eating, wearing, and liking, whatever brings you joy. If you like ripped skinny jeans, paired with your favorite Led Zeppelin t-shirt, then rock that outfit like you earned the right to do so. If you have been fortunate enough to discover that fleece-lined yoga pants are like a warm, fuzzy blanket hugging you all day (and night), and that’s the kind of comfort you’re seeking in life right now, then who cares if they’re covered in cat hair, or aren’t technically supposed to be worn to dinner?

Don’t let someone else tell you what to enjoy in this life, the whole point of growing old is figuring those things out for ourselves.

3. Don’t let others diminish your glory

Life is hard, and living it in a way that makes you proud is damn near impossible. So, if you find yourself among the few who make an effort to improve themselves, or those around them, then by all means make it known. Spread that pride, post those accomplishments… it’s contagious, you know?

When you realize your dreams, and you share your successes with others, you make them seem possible. In addition to providing a sense of completion and achievement for yourself, such triumphs serve as inspiration to others, even if some seem off-put by the display.

There will always be someone out there who will be envious of your determination, your drive, and your successes, just as there will always be someone who is inspired by such. At this point in your life, it’s past time to learn to ignore those who ridicule you or try to extinguish your light, and be proud of who you are, and what you’ve accomplished in this life.

4. Do make a bucket list

Although the term has become somewhat cliché, having a list of things you want to accomplish, places you want to see, people you want to meet, and ideas you want to explore, not only helps to fine-tune your focus to your true desires, but at this stage in life, provides you with a refined list of dreams which can finally be realized. Have you always wanted to see the Grand Canyon, the Eiffel Tower, Italy? How about skydive or go deep sea fishing? Well, now’s the time to book those trips, and make those commitments.

In your 20s, you’re lucky to be moving on from Ramen noodles and Pop-Tarts as meals, and by your 30s, you’re busy chasing toddlers and driving to and from soccer practice. Or, if you don’t have kids, you’re busy going to grad school, working 80-hour weeks, or fully committed to other time-consuming interests. Your 40s and 50s are your decades to really shine. You’ve settled into a life pace, and your finances should begin to even out, so make that list, and really put your heart into completing it.

Don’t view this list as a means to an end, or as being one step closer to death, rather, look at it as an opportunity to put adult financial backing behind your childhood dreams. Make that list, and start checking things off.

5. Don’t let aging consume your life

This is a hard one, no matter who you are. All the money and beauty products in the world can’t stop us from growing old, even if they can shift the focus from certain body parts. Yes, the aging process has really sunk its teeth in by the time you turn 40, and it seems the more you’ve enjoyed life the more it shows.

Most likely, your hair has either thinned, begun to turn grey, or has altogether fallen out. You probably have wrinkles forming, even if they are laugh lines and you’ve enjoyed making every one of them, and you now have unidentifiable spots and marks that you swear weren’t there yesterday.

Well, guess what? Some ninety-five percent of your peers are going through the same thing. Sure, you might not be able to keep up with the 20-year-olds’ #nofilter selfies, but the good news is you don’t care about that anymore. You no longer feel the need to compare yourself to people half your age, because you are finally at a place in life where you’ve learned to accept what you’ve been given, and made peace with who you are.

Instead of becoming obsessed with taking years off your face, become enamored with living your life. Don’t waste your money on products and services to make you look younger, use it to travel and explore, to continue your education, to become more charitable, an act that brings great joy.

6. Do

That’s it, just do. Don’t let society trick you into believing that you’re past your prime. The skills you’ve been building, the experiences that you’ve had, and the knowledge that you’ve gained, over the past 40 years, are finally coming together, making you an unstoppable, educated, experienced, phenom. The last thing you need to do is to throw it all away because someone else thinks you’re too old to accomplish new goals.

Whether you decide to take up martial arts, painting, hiking, photography, or any other activity or hobby, don’t let age hinder your reach. I just recently obtained a degree alongside a 93-year-old gentlemen, and have hiked miles of strenuous trails with people nearly twice my age. Age is not a limiting factor unless you allow it to be.

7. Don’t become a gossip

Join a book club, volunteer at the local soup kitchen, find an adult sports league, do whatever, but don’t waste your time putting down and discussing others. American clergyman Lawrence G. Lovasik once said “Only the ignorant and narrow-minded gossip, for they speak of persons instead of things.”

Rather than be someone who engages in mindless slander, why not be an idea spreader? Instead of discussing the lives of others, present ideas which serve to broaden the minds of those they reach. With so much to learn, see, and experience, there truly isn’t a more wasteful way to approach life.

By age 40, you should be bored with gossip and appalled by its inherent bullying nature. The Center for Disease Control reports that the second leading cause of death among 10-14-year-olds is suicide. Let that sink in, and then consider how we, as parents, educators, guardians, and leaders, serve to impact our youth. We are living in a bullying and abusive culture, and it’s up to us, as the responsible adults, to teach children compassion and empathy through action.

8. Do start planning for retirement

The best way to enjoy the next 10-20 years of life is by preparing for your golden years now. Bet on yourself and your health, then design and implement a plan for the future. We know that daily exercise helps promote healthy aging, and the same is true of our financial health. Daily work towards an established goal helps to focus our efforts on building a stable future, both for ourselves and our families.

Now is also a good time to start looking into Life Insurance, if you haven’t done so already. Wills should also be drawn to ensure that your wants and plans are seen through in the event of untimely death.

Yes, this aspect is a bit morbid, but when you have a plan for the future, you are better able to devote your focus and attention towards living in the present. Make smart financial and longevity decisions now to ensure continued comfort later in life.

9. Don’t believe the (sex) hype

Contrary to popular fiction, belief, myth, and folklore, sex in your 40s does exist. And it’s fantastic.

Ignore all those articles about impending night sweats, hot flashes, and diminished sex drives, affecting your sex life. Much like everything else mentioned in this list, good sex isn’t age-dependent.

In fact, by the time you reach 40, you know exactly what you do and don’t like in the bedroom (or anywhere else), and have grown past any nervous apprehension you may have harbored through your 20s and 30s.

You know exactly what makes you and your partner tick, and the inhibitions of the past – your experience, your body image, your self-esteem—no longer serve to influence your sex life.

10. Do look forward to this new chapter in life

While we can’t all sashay into our 40s looking or living like Jennifer Aniston, we can embrace self-love, and make peace with who we are. A little pampering and self-care go a long way in making us feel fulfilled.

Turning 40 used to mean black balloons and tombstone party favors, but today 40 isn’t even considered middle-aged. So, stop waiting for that AARP card to arrive, and start making plans for the weekend.

Wear what you like, do what you like, and be who you like… this life is a final act, don’t let anyone else direct yours.

Beth Jacobs Bowen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In addition to writing, the author enjoys many
of the activities mentioned in the listicle
(including taking random quizzes on Facebook).

On any given Sunday, she can be found reading,
listening to her vinyl collection,
or spending time photographing nature with her family.

The Divine Intervention of the Self: An exploration into the effects of Conservative Protestant Christianity on the modern sense of identity.

April 22, 2017October 5, 2018 / Beth Jacobs Bowen

Many religions refute the psychological sense of self in their attempt to eradicate secular conditioning and discourage individuality. This is especially true within Conservative Protestant Christianity, where modern ideals of selfhood seek to serve the individual rather than God. Both biological and sociological factors serve to influence ideals of self-identity within Conservative Protestant Christianity and modern psychological theory, yet there is evidence of reduced feelings of self-worth associated with Conservative Protestant Christianity’s influence over an individual’s sense of personal mastery and self-esteem, as dictated by Divine Intervention.

Through exploration of the factors that help shape an individual’s identity, and by applying methods of modern psychological and Conservative Protestant Christian thought, this research aims to establish support for the concept that Divine Intervention, especially in association with ideals of Fundamentalist Christianity, promotes loss of the personal sense of identity and lends to a reduced level of happiness amongst some Conservative Protestant Christians.

To understand the impact that Divine Intervention has on the ideal of self amongst Conservative Protestant Christians, consideration must be given to an individual’s “relations with a divine being, as well as their perceptions of the power and influence of an omnipotent deity”, as the relationship that they maintain with that deity directly dictates the stronghold that it possesses over their sense of identity and self-concept (Schieman et al. 165). Compiled research on this subject has yielded support for the concept that “higher levels of perceived divine control”, especially within Conservative Protestant Christian thought, “may correspond to the sense that events and outcomes are beyond one’s own personal control”, and therefore are not representative of any individual influence (Schieman et al. 170).

In exploring the science behind religious thought, research compiled by Dominiek Coates reports that “…some individuals are not reflexively guided by a personal self, but continue to acquire and maintain self-stability by anchoring themselves to stable others, such as institutions, traditions, or social groups” (Coates 794). Religious groups, like those founded in Conservative Protestant Christianity, which maintain fundamentalist views that hold fast to ideals of Divine Intervention and the self in the image of God, serve as these anchors. By connecting oneself to a community, or rather congregation, that supports the idea of surrendering all concepts of self-identity and self-will to God, the individual is relieved of existential anxiety through the concept that God is in control.

In direct opposition of ideals of Divine Intervention in the concept of selfhood stand modern psychological theories that establish criteria for self-identity based on biological, rather than theological, factors. Joseph LeDoux, from the Center for Neural Science at NYU, states that “In modern psychology the notion of the self is closely tied in with consciousness, in the sense of being self-aware, possessing agency or conscious control, having self-knowledge, a self-concept and self-esteem, of being self-critical, of feeling self-important, and striving towards self-actualization” (LeDoux 296). This idea is further supported in Jerome Kagan’s essay, The Emergence of Self, where he explains that “The speculation that self-awareness is a consequence of a cumulative…history of material experiences and objects and people…owes…to the fact that most Western scholars have been reluctant to posit discrete endogenous mechanisms…which might be responsible for the emergence of new behaviors” (Kagan 378). He goes on to suppose that this is due to the fact that “physiologists and psychologists have wanted to believe that external events, potentially quantifiable, are the primary causes of action”, as this supports the concept that the brain synapses that occur, and serve to create memories, are “more in accord with an epistemology of mechanism and a philosophy of logical positivism than with a presupposition that awards potency to invisible entities that seem to have direction and structure from the beginning”, as in the case of the omnipotent God that Conservative Protestant Christianity is founded upon (Kagan 378).

Upon acceptance of God as the fixed, eternal being that serves as both creator and regulator of life, the sense of self-identity that one possesses, from a psychological standpoint, is effectively replaced with the assumed image of God. As read in Genesis, “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness” …So, God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him…” (New International Version, Gen. 1.26-27). This very statement serves as the backbone for structuring identity within the fundamentalist confines of Conservative Protestant Christianity. In creating man in his own likeness, God established total dominance over him, and effectively removed all concept of selfhood. In addition to surrendered personal identity, Divine Intervention seeks to eradicate all notions of self-importance and existential concern amongst Conservative Protestant Christians.

This ideal is further explored in The Sense of Divine Control and the Self-Concept, which provides detailed findings on the effects of perceived Divine Intervention on the individual sense of self. In this research, it was reported that, for some, “…viewing God as in control of events and experiences in one’s life may be the equivalent of ceding personal control to Him”, which supported the hypothesis that “…higher levels of divine control are associated with lower levels of self-esteem” (Schieman et al. 188). When an individual feels as though they have little personal effect on their own life, and on the state of society as a whole, there is a correlated sense of reduced self-worth and limited personal mastery.

If, indeed, it is in our ability to conceive our own “agency and conscious control” that signifies our identity, as suggested by LeDoux, then the concept that the continued experiences that arise from our state of conscious control consistently impact and influence our sense of self is supported (LeDoux 296). While Conservative Protestant Christianity seeks to eradicate the secular conditioning that supports notions of individuality in defiance of its truth, that man is made in the image of God and therefore has no separate self, the theories surrounding selfhood in modern psychology function to bolster self-identity, by providing scientific evidence that details the biological processes that stimulate brain synapses and record experiences which directly shape an individual’s sense of self.

When it comes to ideals surrounding identity and selfhood in modern science, there is widespread support for psychological reasoning that suggests that the self is “an active agent in the control of mental states and behavior” (LeDoux 296). Broken down even further, the self essentially exists as a system of monitoring and facilitating the biological processes involved in the formation of memories. It is through study of this mechanism that scientists and researchers are able to “understand how the self is established and maintained in the brain” (LeDoux 298).

If Divine Intervention and the idea that Conservative Protestant Christians have no perceptions of self-identity serve “as a crutch, especially when they yearn for relief from miserable conditions”, then the effects of resigning one’s identity and personal mastery that result, hypothesized as “relinquished control” in The Sense of Divine Control and the Self-Concept, “expose[s] individuals to more frequent feelings of guilt, shame, and self-doubt” and “has the potential to diminish self-esteem” (Schieman et al. 171).

Dominiek Coates supports this concept in his study, The Effect of New Religious Movement Affiliation and Disaffiliation on Reflexivity and Sense of Self, by providing detailed testimonies from individuals who had surrendered their identities to the fundamentalist ideals founded in Conservative Protestant Christianity, only to leave such organizations and find themselves left with “an “unbearable identity void” and “an intense sense of insecurity and anxiety” (Coates 798). Without Divine Intervention, the choices an individual must face and make prove daunting to the newly isolated person, as they lack the established understanding of personal mastery and self-control necessary “for managing today’s unstable social environments” (Coates 794).

This lack of understanding and ability serves to further foster feelings of unworthiness, guilt, and embarrassment, amongst some Conservative Protestant Christians. In a study published in the Journal of Mental Health Counseling, it was reported by one of the women interviewed that, “If you don’t fit the church’s mold of the perfect person…they don’t want to have anything to do with you” (Wagner and Rehfuss 177). The feelings of guilt that correlated with her sense of unworthiness, as dictated by her strict, conservative Christian upbringing, had a profound effect on the interviewee’s ideals of self-worth and overall happiness.

In modern psychological theory, societal norms serve as the moral guidelines for measuring self-control, and help to establish the parameters associated with self-awareness and the perception of individual influence on society. Jerome Kagan further explores the impact of societal norms in his essay The Emergence of the Self, finding that at “Around 17 to 20 months of age, children display an obvious concern with a special class of events and actions whose attributes deviate from what adults regard as normative” (Das and Nairn 365). This observed behavior supports the idea that our self-identity is measured by pre-established, societal norms that are present at birth.

In addition to accepted ideals of normalcy in society, one’s position within the social strata, as result of economic and environmental influence, also functions to establish an individual’s sense of self. In consideration of economic status, and its ability or inability to support opportunities in education and moral development, much weight must be placed on its effective involvement in the establishment of identity. When the basic needs of an individual are met, and their status in society is deemed elevated enough to validate feelings of self-worth, there is little need for relief by Divine Intervention. Further support for this is established in The Sense of Divine Control and the Self-Concept, as it reports that “Scholars of religion have long asserted that socially and economically disadvantaged members of society benefit the most from religious beliefs and practices” finding that “religiosity offsets the psychological impact of social and economic disadvantages” (Schieman et al. 174).

As is typical of most social and cultural groups, differentiations in race and gender notably add to and influence the impact that Conservative Protestant Christianity might have on an individual’s sense of self. Research reported in The Sense of Divine Control and the Self-Concept concludes that, “Specifically, there is a negative association between perceived divine control and mastery among White respondents and a slightly positive association among Blacks”, which is reduced further to remark that “the association between perceived divine control and self-esteem is negative among White men only” (Schieman et al. 180, 185).

Although “higher levels of perceived divine control are associated with lower levels of self-esteem among White men—the most advantaged population subgroup…”, as result of relinquished control that yields “diminished self-worth”, by contrast, increased Divine Intervention led to “higher levels of self-esteem among black women—the least advantaged group”, due to the “self-validation and affirmation” of the “social and economic disadvantages” associated with Black women (Schieman et al. 188-189). As members of a habitually disparaged and oppressed community, research finds that “Blacks may experience the sense of divine control differently than Whites because they tend to perceive God’s support and guidance as an indispensable part of empowerment” (Schieman et al. 189). Due to this divergent perception of intervention, the levels of self-esteem and personal mastery within Black Conservative Protestant Christians are less negatively affected.

While Divine Intervention may be cause for decreased feelings of self-worth among white men, one study, which explores the impacts that conservative Christianity has on the rearing of children, finds that many white women also experience resigned regulation over their lives and reduced self-esteem as result of their religiosity. Findings from this study state, “…the women perceived that their Christian upbringing was connected to past feelings of unworthiness”, and all three women reported that they “…felt that religion was overemphasized and that the overall atmosphere was unhealthy” (Wagner and Rehfuss 176-177). In accordance with the finding that “Traditionally conservative denominations may stress the implications of sin and divine retaliation”, Joseph LeDoux asserts that “If a significant proportion of the early emotional experiences one has are due to activation of the fear system rather than positive systems, then the characteristic personality that begins to build…is one drenched in negativity and hopelessness rather than in affection and optimism” (Schieman et al. 171, LeDoux 302). In such a manner, Conservative Protestant Christianity serves to negatively impact the self-esteem, and overall happiness levels, of many of its followers, despite gender differences.

In Genesis, the first book of the Bible, where the founding concepts of life structure in Christianity are drawn, it is stated that man is created in the image of God, a concept that directly employs God as both the identity and master controller of man. Further clarification on this matter, as detailed in 1 Corinthians, explains that while man “is the image and glory of God”, “the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man” (New International Version, 1 Cor. 11:7-9). With consideration of this, in congruence with research that links higher levels of Divine Intervention with lower levels of self-esteem in white men only, the correlation between religiosity and the “relinquished and diminished self-worth hypotheses” explored in The Sense of Divine Control and the Self-Concept serves to support ideals of a decreased sense of self among both white men and women, with or without the presence of Divine Intervention or consideration of the self as made in the image of God (Schieman et al. 175).

In addition to the impacts that race and gender maintain over the sense of self in Conservative Protestant Christian thought, evidence suggests that limited opportunities of education and employment, especially among women, also influences selfhood and identity. Aniruddha Das and Stephanie Nairn report, from their research on Conservative Christianity, Partnership, Hormones, and Sex in Late Life, that “married evangelical women reported significantly less current employment, relative to both women in other religions and to their male counterparts” and found that “among married evangelicals…women were strikingly less likely than men to have had any college education” (Das and Nairn 8). This lack of employment and education facilitates a sense of alienation from society, and creates a dependency on others for understanding.

In addition to a lack of higher education amongst Conservative Protestant Christian women, negative, and oftentimes absent, sexual education fosters a “naivete” that causes “personal confusion and anxiety about…sexuality” (Wagner and Rehfuss 178). When confronted with sexuality in adulthood, many conservative Christians reported feelings of embarrassment and shame. This was due to an inherent lack of knowledge and understanding, and to harboring a conditioned negative response to sex. In summary, reduced sexual education among some Conservative Protestant Christians effects the same decrease in self-worth and personal mastery as the concept of Divine Intervention does, by cultivating feelings of guilt and embarrassment.

There is substantial evidence that supports the ideal that by maintaining fundamentalist views of selfhood, some Conservative Protestant Christians experience reduced levels of self-worth and personal mastery. Divine Intervention, and the general ceding of control and self-interest to God, in combination with an array of biological and sociological factors, effectively results in lower levels of self-esteem and happiness among many Conservative Protestant Christians.

Works Cited

Barker, Kenneth L., and Donald W. Burdick. The NIV Study Bible. 10th ed., Grand Rapids, Mi, Zondervan Publishing House, 1995. Print.

Brinkman, Klaus. “Consciousness, Self-Consciousness, and the Modern Self.” History of the Human Sciences, vol. 18, no. 4, 2005, pp. 27-48. Print.

Coates, Dominiek. “The Effect of New Religious Movement Affiliation and Disaffiliation on Reflexivity and Sense of Self.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, vol. 52, no. 4, 2013, pp. 793-809. Print.

Das, Aniruddha, and Stephanie Nairn. “Conservative Christianity, Partnership, Hormones, and Sex in Late Life.” Archives of Sexual Behavior, vol. 43, no. 7, 2014, pp. 1403-15. Print.

Kagan, Jerome. “The Emergence of Self.” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, vol. 23, no. 4, 1982, pp. 363-381. Print.

LeDoux, Joseph. “The Self: Clues from the Brain.” Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, vol. 1001, no. 1, 2003, pp. 295-304. Print.

Schieman, Scott, Tetyana Pudrovska, and Melissa Milkie. “The Sense of Divine Control and the Self-Concept.” Research on Aging, vol. 27, no. 2, 2005, pp. 165-196. Print.

Wagner, Joyce, and Mark Rehfuss. “Self-injury, Sexual Self-Concept, and a Conservative Christian Upbringing: An Exploratory Study of Three Young Women’s Perspectives.” Journal of Mental Health Counseling, vol. 30, no. 2, 2008. Print.

Love: A Classification of Human Interaction

March 30, 2017November 29, 2017 / Beth Jacobs Bowen

Love, in Overview

Love has the power to create and destroy. It is simultaneously consuming and freeing in nature. It is the subject of great prose and the object of brilliant art, yet it remains an equally elusive and tangible concept. Love cannot be adequately defined by man, despite the thoughtful and continued efforts of philosophers and scientists, as its power and ability transcends human thought and reason. It can, however, be classified, by its motivation and purpose. In classifying love, we streamline our collective conscious, and come one step further in understanding the tremendous power it beholds.

The various types of love, used to organize the nature and purpose of unions, have been explored by psychologists, sociologists, and philosophers since the dawn of understanding and reason. The four primary classifications of love are: Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape. Each type possesses qualities and distinctions that separate it from the others. Some qualities cross-apply to the various types, while others are specific emotions found only within particular classifications of love. A general sense of compassion and kindness, and respect for and towards our fellow man is vital to success, in all four types of love, as it is through mutual respect that love finds peace and harmony, an environment in which it can thrive. Honesty and faithfulness are also extremely important in nearly all types of love, as they offer a moral base upon which trust is built. These basic principles both define and classify love, of all types, and provide focus within its broad scope.

Love thy Family

Love is powerful beyond measure. It can incite war among men, war that leads to death and destruction, while simultaneously providing the natural bonding between man and woman that creates life. It is somewhere between these polar ends of the love spectrum that the classifications of love are established. Each type determined by certain, and often contrasting, needs and abilities.

In two of the four classifications, love can thrive even if unrequited. In Storge, the love one feels towards family, and in Agape, the divine love for all of mankind, love is felt regardless of returned affection. Neither type is dependent upon mutual affection, as in the case of Eros, romantic love, and Philia, the love found in friendship. In Storge, love comes in the form of a natural response to what author C. S. Lewis refers to as the “warm comfortableness” of familiarity. He finds that in family, even “the ugly, the stupid, and the exasperating” are considered lovable (Lewis). This aspect of Storge is found in the unrequited love that Fonny Hunt, a predominant character in James Baldwin’s “If Beale Street Could Talk”, maintains for his mother. Despite Mrs. Hunt’s attempts to control Fonny, and even though “she was damn sure going to save her child” by bringing him to love Jesus, Fonny still ended up doing things that would ultimately disappoint his mother (Baldwin, pg. 15). The narrator, Tish, who is Fonny’s lover and who is carrying Fonny’s unborn child, finds that the “sanctified” nature of Mrs. Hunt strained her relationship with her son, and that “that’s why he was, when you got to know him, so nice, a really nice person, a really sweet man, with something very sad in his eyes” (Baldwin, pg. 15).

Despite his mother’s criticism and control, and without a return of the affection that Fonny felt towards his mother, he still loved her with all his heart. This unrequited, unconditional love exemplifies C. S. Lewis’ discernment that Storge “turns a blind eye to faults, and revives easily after quarrels” (Lewis). Tish mentions, “I know how much he loved her; how much he wanted to love her, to be allowed to love her, to have that translation read” (Baldwin, pg. 19). This desperation for love shows that regardless of the unrequited nature of his relationship with his mother, Fonny loved her anyway, because she was his family, what was familiar and comforting to him.

Love thy Neighbor

Agape, the love of mankind, also requires no return of affection. To love without judgement, accepting human beings as they are, is the divine sense of love that Christianity is based upon, and serves as a common theme in many religions. This unconditional, unrequited love is the underlying force of humanity. George Santayana explored this concept in his hypothetical conversation between Socrates and The Stranger, a dialogue called Philanthropy. Through the Christian stranger, Santayana argues that it is through unconditional love that man is able to emulate the goodness and acceptance found in Christ. He finds that “the philanthropist should strive to secure the true good of mankind, a good predetermined for them by their nature and faculties without their knowledge, and by no means realized in their actual condition…” (Santayana, pp. 127-133 and 136-147). This concept ignores the subjectivity of love, and rather focuses on the possibilities. As God so loves his children, regardless of sin and wrongdoing, we should love one another, without judgement, and in the hopes that we might come to realize our potential.

This form of love, while found in various religions, yet proven to be applicable without any regards to religion, is best exemplified in the Bible, especially within the New Testament. While many scholars suggest that other religious leaders showed more compassion in their practice than Jesus did, the chapters of the New Testament offer complete transcriptions of Agape in action. Acclaimed writer Leo Tolstoy wrote of these accounts in his work “My Religion”, stating that “Almost from the first period of my childhood, when I began to read the New Testament, I was touched and stirred…by that portion of the doctrine of Christ, which includes love, humility, self-denial, and the duty of returning good for evil” (Tolstoy). This statement provides the definition of Agape, and gives an excellent example of its use in religious practice.

Furthermore, the New Testament calls for multiple acts of altruism and philanthropy. From Luke 12:33, when man is told to “Sell your possessions and give to charity”, to Matthew 5:42 when it is said, “Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.”, Agape is the underlying force that provides for these acts of divine love.

Love thy Brother

In contrast to loves that exists regardless of reception and return stands Philia, or Friendship. The love found in friendship is the least natural of the loves, as it requires purposeful intent towards forming and maintaining a union between two or more people, and mutual admiration and interest is vital to its success. It involves the bonding of two or more people through common interests, occupation, religion, sports, networking, and other environmental factors. When we meet someone that we find interesting, it is natural to want to learn more about that person, and when we begin to devote time and effort towards discovering another person, we are creating a relationship, developing a bond based on Philia. These non-romantic relationships lead to unions that are built upon mutual respect, admiration, and interest. Should one friend become disinterested in the other, thereby leaving the relationship unrequited, then the bond is broken, as it cannot exist in halves.

Friendship requires many of the same aspects that love does in order to be successful. While most friendships don’t require the amount of time and effort a romantic relationship would, there are still basic needs that must be met. For example, honesty and openness are crucial to a successful friendship. If a person cannot depend on their friends to level with them on important issues, then there is little hope that the bond will remain very strong between them. In addition to honesty and openness, trust and faithfulness are also important within a friendship.

In the independent animated film “Mary and Max”, the concept of trust is put to the test, when after many years of developing a friendship based on shared misery and understanding, Mary betrays Max. For years, he and Mary had been pen pals, forming a deep bond, one in which they felt safe in disclosing personal feelings and thoughts. Each had effectively saved the other’s life at one point or another, giving the other the will and courage to continue on through their difficult and depressing life, all through mailed correspondence, never having actually met one another.

After some time, Max discloses to Mary that he has Asperger’s, a mental disorder that affects his social skills and causes anxiety in stressful or intense situations. As homage to her friend, Mary grows up and becomes a Psychologist, devoting herself to studying the disease in an attempt to better understand Max’s condition. Eventually, she writes a doctoral dissertation on Asperger’s, using Max as her subject. Max, being a very closed and personal person, as is the nature of someone with Asperger’s, feels completely exposed by this act. Part of Max’s condition is that he cannot process emotions well, and struggles even more in expressing himself in an orderly and rational manner. So, Max overreacts and responds with anger and confusion at this ultimate act of betrayal within he and Mary’s friendship.

Eventually, they are able to rekindle their friendship, thanks to Max’s realization that no one is perfect, not even himself, and his understanding that Mary didn’t write the book to hurt him, but rather she just made a mistake, and should be forgiven for her imperfections. However, the example stands that friendship, while not possessing of the same qualities of divine, familial, or romantic love, still has certain needs that must be met and maintained in order to be successful.

Although C.S. Lewis regarded friendship as the “least necessary love”, which is true in the literal sense that, biologically, we can survive and reproduce without this specific bond, friendship, in fact, is one of the most sought after forms of love. In Aristotle’s Nichomachean Ethics, Books VII and IX, he states that “without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods; even rich men and those in possession of office and of dominating power are thought to need friends most of all; for what is the use of such prosperity without the opportunity of beneficence…towards friends” (Aristotle).

Socrates further emphasizes the value in friendship, and finds that it is based on “shared goodness”, instills “humility and avoids flattery”.

This perspective on Philia is also personified in the cartoon “Shrek”. An unlikely meeting between a talking donkey, named Donkey, who hopes to align himself with an ogre named Shrek, whom he deems impressive, leads to a friendship born in humility, while avoiding flattery. An ogre, judged for his hideousness and stereotyped as a threat to humanity, and a talking donkey, one with little class, that demands no respect, find a rare opportunity for pure friendship in their respective loneliness. When Shrek asks Donkey why he is following him, Donkey sings “Cause I’m all alone. There’s no one here beside me. My problems have all gone. There’s no one to deride me…but you gotta have friends” (Shrek).

Philosopher Immanuel Kant classified friendship into three types of friendship based on motivation: Friendship based on need, Friendship based on taste, and Friendship based on disposition. Donkey, in his animal state, and being at a natural disadvantage in life, seeks out the first type of friendship that Kant detailed, Friendship based on need. In “Shrek”, Donkey has found a potential confidant, companion, and protector, someone to help him get through life. From the initial dialogue between Shrek and Donkey, flattery is non-existent, and brutal honesty shapes the conversation. As Donkey pleads his case for building friendship with Shrek through song, Shrek responds “Stop singing! It’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” To which Donkey retorts “Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest” (Shrek). This exchange, while likely more blunt and crude than Kant and Socrates imagined imagined in their theories, directly represents both the motivation for, and limitations of, Philia.

Love thy Mate

Of all of the forms of love, Eros is the most complicated, and the most rewarding. Eros provides for procreation, serves as the basic bond for emotional and physical attachment, and allows for human survival. Eros, or love, is an all-encompassing entity, one so enormous that it must be classified into five basic types: Passion, Choice, Emotion, Union, and Valuing.

While all forms of Eros apply to the notion of romantic love, not all forms are present in all romantic unions. The classifications of Eros serve as broad boundaries, used for purposes of definition and motivation. Love, in the romantic sense, has been studied since the dawn of civilized thought. Once humans evolved past meeting the basic needs of survival, they began to develop reason and understanding of human nature. In this, they started to question the enigmatic draw they felt towards one another. The desire to procreate was innate, but the questions surrounding the emotional attachments we began to form led us on, what would become, an endless journey, in search of the true meaning of love.

Eros as Passion is fleeting, based on temporary, intense physical responses to another person. This type of love has been illustrated for centuries in art and literature. Romeo and Juliet serve as the most well-known example of Eros as Passion. The extreme disregard they both show towards life, in the taking of their own upon the forbiddance of their union, demonstrates the extraordinary power that passion can have over the human psyche. Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer states, in his essay Metaphysics of Love, “I cannot understand how it is that such people, who are confident of each other’s love, and expect to find their great happiness in the enjoyment of it, do not avoid taking extreme steps, and prefer suffering every discomfort to sacrificing with their lives a happiness which is greater than any other they can conceive” (Schopenhauer).

Passionate love, while powerful in its form, is incapable of sustaining the rigors associated with the demands of continued, and successful, union.

Oftentimes, love is born of choice. The decision to love someone despite their shortcomings, choosing to love someone for their potential, and providing love to those who may not be deserving of such consideration, are all examples of Eros as Choice. This form of love can accompany other forms, even within the same bond. This choice comes in three distinct forms: objective, subjective, and bestowment without merit.

To choose to love based on the potential one sees in another is choosing love objectively. This form of Choice is what ancient Greek philosophers spent their lives exploring, and is brilliantly represented in Plato’s “Symposium”, especially with regards to The Speech of Socrates. In this speech, Socrates converses with his love, Agathon, and the two solidify the concept that true love can only be “a desire for beauty, and never for ugliness” and that real love can only be between good and good, as it is the objective virtue of man that is worthy of love, not the man himself (Plato).

To choose love based on the actual qualities one possesses is to love subjectively. This concept involves the adage “taking someone at face value”, in that subjectively choosing a lover means to accept and love them as they are, not for what they could be. Spanish philosopher Jose Ortega y Gasset explored this form of Choice, finding that it is through “expressive means of revealing a person’s true character” that love, true love, for someone is discovered. He adds that people’s flaws make them as lovable as their perfections, in that we are attracted to that which is like within us.

When exploring Eros, as romantic love, emotion cannot be separated from the other classifications. Without emotion, there is no motivation in love. If we don’t feel emotion for someone, regardless of where on the emotional spectrum that feeling lies, then we can’t possibly possess the depth of interest and consideration that makes love possible. C. S. Lewis found that “Eros {as Emotion} makes a man really want, not a woman, but one particular woman” (Lewis). This suggests that it is not simple desire that draws us to love, but the emotional exchange we take part in when we commit ourselves to loving someone in particular.

When we bond in romantic love, we begin to establish Eros as Union. This concept involves the combining of two people’s lives and purposes, with the intent of forming one, complete entity. This ideal is beautifully illustrated in Aristophane’s tale of the separation of self. He tells of the past, when the original human form “…was round, his back and sides forming a circle, and he had four hands and the same number of feet” (Plato). This shape came from the concept that the complete human consisted of two people, born together to form a whole entity. When Zeus became threatened by man, due to his strength and great heart, he separated him by splitting him down the center, creating two halves, each in the shape of a singular human form. Due to their innate need to find one another half to feel complete, man spent his life searching for love, as Union.

Aristophane’s tale gives a visual reference to what we experience as Eros in Union, the coming together of two minds, bodies, and souls, in an attempt to find completeness and purpose. Society, since its inception, has promoted Union as the ultimate goal in life. No matter our lot, if we love and are loved in return, we are said to be rich in love. For it is not material wealth that determines our completeness, but rather the value associated with the exchange of love.

To summarize the various classifications of Eros, while illustrating how they can come together, in lieu of one eliminating the other, to form true love, I again turn to James Baldwin’s “If Beale Street Could Talk”. The relationship between the book’s two main characters, Tish and Fonny, is one born of Passion. While Tish explains, in the opening paragraphs, that in regards to Alonzo Hunt, rather Fonny, “I’ve known him all my life, and I hope I’ll always know him”, it was passion that brought them together as lovers (Baldwin, pg. 1).

The type of passion that Tish and Fonny held for one another was the all-consuming kind, the type that doesn’t stop to think, the kind of passion that leads to babies being born out of wedlock. Tish recalls “I was being changed; all that I could do was cling to him…everything was breaking and changing and turning in me and moving toward him” (Baldwin, pg. 78). This intense draw led to Tish becoming pregnant, which immediately changed the dynamic of her and Fonny’s relationship. They now moved from Eros as Passion to Eros as Choice, as they made the conscious decision to grow their love.

Eros as Choice is a classification of love that is built upon both the subjective and objective valuing of a mate. Tish sees Fonny for the man he could be, loving him for his potential as a great sculptor, husband, and father. This objective valuation is based on Fonny’s potential, not his actualized state. However, even as Tish values these objective qualities in Fonny, she also exhibits Choice in her subject valuation of him. Beyond the “…old black and red lumber jacket…”, and despite the fact that “His heavy shoes were scuffed; and he smelled of fatigue”, regardless of his “slow, long-legged, bowlegged walk”, …Tish felt “He was the most beautiful person I had seen in all my life” (Baldwin, pg. 52). This adoration proves Tish’s choice to love Fonny subjectively, for who he was already, rather than who he might become.

Eros as Emotion is love that is defined by the feelings that humans produce within one another, which leads to bonding between them. Emotions prompt motivation for action in love. They establish the reasoning behind the need for love, and create a desire that cannot be quelled through physical interaction, as with Passion. These emotions range from overwhelming affection to desperation, volatile in their nature, and dependent upon the actions of another. Eros as Emotion leads to attachment in love, creating a dependency upon a mate. Fonny exhibits this when he tells Tish, “You’re with me all the time, all the time, without you I don’t know if I could make it at all, baby…I’ll always come to you. I need you. I love you” (Baldwin, pg. 77).

In examining Eros as Union within “If Beale Street Could Talk”, there is one particular utterance that speaks to the nature of Fonny and Tish’s love for one another. Tish states “…I had always, without ever thinking about it, known that I would spend my life with Fonny” (Baldwin, pg. 53). The circumstances surrounding Fonny and Tish’s story only strengthen their bond. Even in separation, when Fonny is falsely imprisoned for rape, their bond grows stronger, meshing their entities together. As Fonny and Tish grown in their love, their bond strengthens, and the various forms of love that they maintain for one another come together to establish one entity.

Love, in Conclusion

Love, friendship, and family are among the most coveted goals of human interaction. At a very young age, we begin to form bonds of mutual admiration and respect among our peers and families. As we grow, we discover that hardships and difficulties are easier to face with an ally and a support system. We learn that through the bonds of love, we promote continued human existence and provide the care necessary to sustain life. Most importantly, as we develop as humans, we realize that love, friendship, and family add to our existence, and make our time on earth more fulfilling.

Works Cited

*Aristotle. Nichomachean Ethics, Books VII and IX. 350 BCE. MS. W. D. Ross Translation. Internet Classics Archive. 1925

*Baldwin, James. If Beale Street Could Talk. New York: Vintage Books. 1974.

*Kant, Immanuel. Lecture on Friendship. Lectures on Ethics. Louis Infield Translation. 1930

*Lewis, C. S. The Four Loves. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 1971

*Plato. The Symposium.385-370 BCE. MS. Christopher John Gill Translation. Penguin Classics. 1999.

*Santayana, George. Philanthropy. Dialogues in Limbo. New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons. 1925. pp. 127-133 and 136-147.

*Schopenhauer, Arthur. Metaphysics of Love. Essays and Aphorisms. Penguin Classics. 2004.

*Tolstoy, Leo. My Religion. 1885. Huntington Smith Translation. Paternoster Row. 1889.

*The Bible. New International Version. Grand Rapids: Zondervan House, 1984. Print.

*Mary and Max. Elliot, Adam. Melodrama Pictures, DVD. 2009.

*Shrek. Adamson, Andrew. Dreamworks Pictures, DVD. 2001.

Lewis on Friendship

March 30, 2017 / Beth Jacobs Bowen

If love is the light of life, the true purpose of man, the solution and the cause for all great sin, then in C.S. Lewis’ perspective, friendship is nothing more than a watered-down, unnecessary, synthetic version. One so unimportant and unexciting that it hardly registers interest among artists and writers, and “has very little to do with that Philia which Aristotle classified among the virtues or that Amicitia on which Cicero wrote a book” (pg. 1). Lewis supports this ideal in an essay detailing the causes behind the difficulty in establishing true friendship with others, and provides justification for his removal of friendship as a type of love.

In Friendship- The Least Necessary Love, Lewis makes the argument that friendship is lacking in the qualities and purpose needed to be a “love of comparable value or even a love at all” (pg. 1). He finds that friendship “withdraws men from collective “togetherness” …” and separates them into small cliques or groups (pg. 2). This seclusion creates a sense of distrust among those outside of the bond, stemming from the sense that stating ““These are my friends” implies “Those are not”” (pg. 2). This entire dynamic hinders the formation of friendship in that it makes the effort seem less appealing from a societal response. I agree that in seclusion, love is lost, or rather hidden. To align oneself with only a select few individuals greatly limits one’s perspective, and opportunity for growth.

Another hindrance to the establishment of friendship is found in the “attitude of the majority towards all circles of close friends” (pg. 4). As true friendship is a rare, and almost non-existent, entity, Lewis finds that the average person has never truly had a friendship, stating that “in their own lives {they} know only Affection, Companionship, and Eros” (pg. 4). Although I find the modern world to have evolved greatly in understanding the nature of friendship, I agree that friendship causes many feelings of exclusion.

Additionally, Lewis finds friendship to be lacking the spiritual sense needed to be considered a valid form of love. He finds that true love is modeled after the love one has for The Lord, the love reflected in the marriage between the Church and Jesus. Friendship does not quantify this type of love, for it is bound in Philia, not Eros. As a result, unions that do not reflect Scripture are not considered to be bound in true love.

As supplement to the difficulties men face in establishing true friendships, Lewis also finds friendship to be “non-natural”, as it is “-the least natural of loves; the least instinctive, organic, biological, gregarious and necessary” (pg. 1). This is to say that friendship is a forced union, one designed by man. An independent love, that strengthens man by its presence, rather than displaying his weaknesses, as in the face of Eros. He finds friendship to be a forced union, free of natural emotion and dependency, and thus allowing of his “non-natural” classification.

The “uninquisitive” nature of friendship is developed in Lewis’ work, underscoring the lack of natural process within friendship in its blatant disregard for the history or purpose of others. Rather, it seeks only to know if their intended friend “see(s) the same truth” (pg. 4). Lewis further explains this lack of natural curiosity by suggesting that “This love (essentially) ignores not only our physical bodies but that whole embodiment which consists of our family, job, past and connections (pg. 4). This disregard, or lack of concern, for what makes our friends who they are, further eliminates the connection between friendship and true love.

In Lewis’ ascription that friendship is a form of love that lacks in necessity and is “most independent, or even defiant, of mere nature”, he develops a plausible case for dismissal of friendship as a form of love (pg. 1). Because the “species, biologically considered, has no need of it” and since “we can live and breed without Friendship”, removing the connotation that love, in its pure, and necessary form, is involved is justified (pg. 1). One might feel a sense of devotion and affection for those whom he calls friends, but love, in its pure and natural form, is not found in these generic unions between men.

On Philia

March 30, 2017 / Beth Jacobs Bowen

While many philosophers offer romantic notions of the true basis for love and friendship, Immanuel Kant approaches the topic of philia from a far more reserved and objective approach. He finds that in the combination of loving oneself, and loving humanity at large, the notion of friendship is born. To further detail his thoughts on the subject, Kant separated friendship into three distinct types, “based respectively on need, taste, and disposition” (pg. 3).

A friendship based on need is derived of a combination of environmental and social conditions and the ability of others to assist in “the mutual provision for the needs of life” (pg. 3). This establishes union based on dependency, which is left exposed to the inevitable chance of failure in the event that the needs are otherwise met, nullifying the dependency. A friendship based on need is also subject to the equality within the bond, and to the respect with which the balance of need versus benefit is registered and communicated. Kant found that “if one of the participants knows that the other seeks his friendship as a means for satisfying some of his needs, the friendship becomes interested and ceases” (pg. 3).

Another form of friendship listed by Kant is the friendship of taste. This type of friendship “consists in the pleasure we derive from each other’s company and not from each other’s happiness” (pg. 3). This concept is designed around the idea of the attraction of opposites. Not in the sense that the more opposite one is from another, the more attracted they’ll be to them, rather in the notion that we seek out unions that might offer new and different information in our quest for a fulfilling life. We strive to learn through our friendships, rather than reinforce what we already know and believe. As Kant states, “One scholar will not form a friendship with another; because their capacities are identical; they cannot entertain or satisfy one another” (pg. 3).

The third type of friendship Kant details is friendship of disposition. This type of friendship is rare due to the lack of basic principles within the majority of mankind. Rare is the friend of disposition, one “… in whom we can confide unreservedly, to whom we can disclose completely all our dispositions and judgements, from whom we can and need hide nothing, to whom we can communicate our whole self” (pg. 4). Too often we are bound by fear of eventual betrayal and failure in friendship, so we are reluctant to enter into a friendship of disposition, in the idea that with regards to a potential enemy, “We must give him no handle against us” (pg. 4).

By pursuing friendship over love of self we are able to lead more fulfilling lives. As Plato found, the self-sufficient man has no need for friendship, as he is complete within himself. Yet Kant offers the idea that it is not self-realization that should be sought in friendship, but rather an exchange where in another, one might give and receive the same love they have for themselves.

Conversely, those who do not receive or give love readily, and those who do not possess self-love, are not able to exchange these emotions with another, and thereby lack in their ability to establish friendships. Another factor in the inability to establish friendships is found Kant’s suggestion that “The more civilized man becomes, the broader his outlook and the less room there is for special friendships; civilized man seeks universal pleasures and a universal friendship…” (pg. 4). This civilized man does not seek attachment or friendship with individual person, rather they seek to create a generic union with all of mankind, thus having no true friends.

While it may be ideal to imagine that every person has the potential to be our friend, Kant makes no qualms in his position that it just is not possible. He finds that “friendship is a particular relationship”, one that requires certain attention and care which is customized to the specific bond between individuals. He explains that the adage of “a friend to all is a friend to none” holds quite true, with the exception of certain rare individuals that truly are friends to all. He states that “… as a rule, men are inclined to form particular relationships because this is a natural impulse…” and that they do so because “Friendship develops the minor virtues of life” (pg. 4).

Friendship

March 30, 2017March 30, 2017 / Beth Jacobs Bowen

Friendship, the supposedly lower-maintenance and more relaxed type of love, has a myriad of considerations and requirements for success. In addition to common interests and mutual respect for one another, there are many other conditions that must be met for a friendship to remain balanced and healthy. In the treatise “On Friendship”, written by Marcus Tullius Cicero, the benefits, threats, and methods for success in friendship are explored.

In “On Friendship”, Cicero attempts to detail his thoughts on friendship in an imagined dialogue. In this conversation, he explores the various benefits of friendship. One such benefit is found in the answer to the question “What can be more delightful than to have some one to whom you can say everything with the same absolute confidence as to yourself?” (pg. 4). In a friend, we find a reflection of ourselves, our interests and desires, a reflection that supports our ideals and beliefs. Cicero found that it is in our shared joy with others that we live a full life. This concept is further solidified in another ideal of his, that friendship “gives us bright hopes for the future and forbids weakness and despair” (pg. 5). By finding a friend, one who represents the best virtues within ourselves, and entering into a union developed around this mutual goodness for the sake of companionship, we find promise of a happier, more fulfilling life, as we have someone to share it with.

While the benefits of friendship are plenty, so are the threats against it. As with any type of love, there are certain dangers that threaten to destroy the bond. One common threat to friendship is conflict of interest. In the idea that two friends may be vying for the same coveted position in work, the affections of the same person, or some other common aspect that may spur competition between the two, the union’s stability is jeopardized by the conflict created. Cicero states “For while the most fatal blow to friendship in the majority of cases was the lust of gold, in the case of the best men it was a rivalry for office and reputation, by which it had often happened that the most violent enmity had arisen between the closest of friends” (pg. 7). This conflict can also occur among friends who maintain different ideals on the state of the republic. For instance, if one friend supports tyranny, the other may feel compelled to support his friend over his country. As such, Cicero finds it important to consider the possible wickedness within another before committing to friendship, so as to eliminate the possibility that one might ask of his friend “…anything that militated against his honour or his oath or the interest of the republic” (pg. 7). In addition, Cicero finds that “we must impress upon good men that, should they become inevitably involved in friendships with men of this kind, they ought not consider themselves under any obligation to stand by friends who are disloyal to the republic” (Pg. 7-8). Cicero found it vital that man not subject himself to the transgressions of such evil, evil that might create a “breach of religious obligation”.

Greed, and the general quest for great material wealth, also pose great threat to the success of friendship among men. In the chase for money and property, men lose sight of the importance of human affection. Cicero poses the question “…what can be more irrational than to take delight in many objects incapable of response…and yet take little or none in a sentient being endowed with virtue, which has the faculty of loving or…loving back?” (pg. 9). The idea that material objects can provide the companionship and affection that friendship can is denounced. “For who, in heaven’s name, would chose a life of the greatest wealth and abundance on condition of neither loving or being beloved by any creature?” (pg. 9).

Throughout the treatise, Cicero provides a guideline for success in friendship, while outlining the dangers, and offering suggestions on avoidance of such threats. In addition to this information, he also attempts to define the parameters of true friendship, the bond between good men. He finds friendship to be “the greatest thing in the world, for there is nothing which so fits in with our nature, or is so exactly what we want in prosperity or adversity” (pg. 4), with the beginning marked by the “clear indication of virtue, to which a mind of like character is naturally attracted…” (pg. 9). It is in this very ideal that true friendship is established and maintained.

Gender, in Love

March 30, 2017 / Beth Jacobs Bowen

In Simone de Beauvoir’s contrast of men and women within the context of love, she finds that women and men view and approach love differently. She suggests that women love unconditionally, oftentimes sacrificing their own happiness and dreams in exchange of security, and that they largely do so out of a sense of dependency. She bases her stance on the inherent nature of woman as a “second sex”, a complement to, but not equal of, man. In this hierarchy, love becomes a tool, used for capturing and containing a man, in a desperate attempt to find completion, security, and comfort.

Having been born the inferior sex, women are predisposed to dependency upon men, first upon their fathers, then later, their husbands. In finding love, women recreate the safety and comforts of their youth. Due to this inherent dependency, even women who are able to financially support and provide security for themselves will often still seek love with a man because it’s simpler, and what’s expected of them. De Beauvoir states that “Even if they can choose independence, this road seems the most attractive to a majority of women: it is agonizing for a woman to assume responsibility for her life” and blames the fact that “everything incites her to follow the easy slopes: instead of being invited to fight her own way up, she is told that she has only to let herself slide and she will attain paradises of enchantment” (pg. 3). Transversely, de Beauvoir writes that men seek union with women simply “to take possession of her”, stating that “they wish to integrate her into their existence and not to squander it entirely on her” (pg. 1). Men, being born “essential” creatures, are able to view themselves separately of others, as their existence is based in who they are, individually. Women, on the other hand, “being doomed to immanence cannot find self-realization in acts” (pg. 2). It is within these sociologically determined, gender-based limitations of dependency and independency that the self-actualization of women is impeded.

In the woman’s pursuit of love, her key to survival and comfort, she looks to find a man who will help her become “essential”, as “it is in men’s eyes that the woman believes she has finally found herself” (pg. 4). De Beauvoir finds that in this salvation, idolatry is conceived. As her savior and protector, man is exalted beyond his mortal status, and becomes a god in her eyes. This god, considered “fallen” due to his earthly nature and lack of true supremacy, is “not a man: he is a fraud”, according to de Beauvoir (pg. 5). In his righteous state, the man cannot falter, or show any human weakness, less he becomes a disappointment in his woman’s eyes. “If he makes a mistake or contradicts himself, she asserts that he is “not himself” and she makes a grievance of it” (pg. 5). In woman’s attempt to secure her man’s love, and therefore her own safety and happiness, she adorns him with love and gives all of herself to him. De Beauvoir writes that “In making herself a slave, she has found the surest means of enchaining him. She finds that women become “jailers” in their need for constant attention and affection, as “the absence of her lover is always torture” (pg. 6). In this paradox of divinity, men are both exalted and disparaged, simply for being human. This is brilliantly reflected in de Beauvoir’s statement “They would not seem to be dwarfs if they had not been asked to be giants” (pg. 5).

Genuine love is realized only when “founded on the mutual recognition of two liberties” and thereby possessing equal and reciprocated love (pg. 8). As de Beauvoir states, “Man has no need of the unconditional devotion he claims, nor of the idolatrous love that flatters his vanity” (pg. 8). In the self-realization of woman, as an individual, independent being, the shift from being considered the “second sex” is accomplished. Once this shift has occurred, the self-possessed woman will be able to love within her strength. Rather than continue to have her salvation depend on “this despotic free being that has made her and can instantly destroy her” the woman who loves in her own strength is whole, regardless of man or his love (pg. 8). As such, she is able to complement a man with her love, and form a union based on mutual respect and admiration.

While Simone de Beauvoir’s article on love and dependency provides a clear bias towards the oppressive societal implications surrounding gender differences in love and devotion, it also presents many valid arguments on behalf of men, in opposition to the inherent nature of the woman in love. In today’s society, more women find themselves loving in their strength, no longer victims to the patriarchal influences of de Beauvoir’s time. This is presented among both lesbian relationships and in more traditional unions, and showcases equality of strength and devotion in love. In closing, de Beauvoir’s hope that “love will become for her, as for a man, a source of life and not of mortal danger” is slowly coming to realization, strengthening our world in the balanced state of the most powerful force on earth.

The Love Within

March 30, 2017 / Beth Jacobs Bowen

Sonnets have been written, songs have been sung, temples have been erected, and lives have been taken, all in the name of love. Long before there was a term for the strong emotions we felt towards others, love existed. In today’s society, the term is used to cover an array of feelings, and is applied casually towards objects or concepts, with little consideration for the immense power it possesses. In examining the various types of love, it is eros, romantic love, that displays the obsessive, physical response that our brains have when triggered by this powerful emotion.

In a study of 17 people who reported to be happily in love, Anthropologist Helen Fisher found, through MRI scanning, that in these 17 people there was activity found in the base of the brain, more specifically in the ventral tegmental area. This activity included stimulation of cells responsible for the release of dopamine, and was found in the reward system of the brain. This suggests that when we feel love for someone, deep, romantic love, our body has a chemical response. We, as humans, are born with certain innate processes. We have cravings and desires that register far below our thought processes. These same processes are triggered by the brain’s response to romantic love, thereby proving that love is not just an emotional response, but a chemical reaction in the brain that elicits longing and desire. Fisher found that ultimately, “Romantic love is an obsession”, that, “It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You can’t stop thinking about another human being”. In cases of unreciprocated love, she finds that our brain even utilizes its ability to calculate gains and losses to further understand “what went wrong”. So, the obsessed lover not only feels intense love, albeit rejected, but is calculating their losses, and, Fisher states, is “engulfed with feelings of romantic love…feeling deep attachment to this individual”.

In her extensive research, Fisher has “come to think that romantic love is a drive, a basic mating drive”. She goes on to clarify that this is separate from the sexual drive that leads to mating, that instead, this “Romantic love enables you to focus your mating energy on just one at a time, conserve your mating energy, and start the mating process with this single individual”. In her explanation of this driving, obsessive emotion, she relates her findings to the ideals of Plato, agreeing that love is an addiction. She finds that the tolerance we build that causes us to need to see them more, the withdrawals we experience when we are separated from them, and the eventual relapse we experience after seemingly moving beyond the obsession, are “all of the characteristics of addiction”. She concludes this subject with the statement that “…indeed, romantic love is one of the most addictive substances on Earth”.

While the obsessive and addictive nature of love relates to all humans, regardless of gender or race, the way that we feel intimacy is dictated by our sociological past. Since the dawn of civilization, the patriarchal nature of most societies led to different conceptions regarding intimacy and closeness. Fisher found that women find intimacy in face-to-face contact, utilizing a tool called the “anchoring gaze”, that evolved “from millions of years of holding that baby in front of your face, cajoling it, reprimanding it, educating it with words”. Conversely, she found that men used that positioning when facing their enemies, and that they receive intimacy in a side-by-side position, much like they sat alongside friends millions of years ago, and still do today. It’s true that many men feel threatened, or uneasy, when locked in a stare with a woman they love, or really, with anyone. They are less accustomed to working in face-to-face positions, even in today’s society. Women, on the other hand, still use this physical arrangement in their interactions with their children, and often with each other. This concept, while simple in explanation, is feasible in its application to the gender differences found in intimacy.

Much like Fisher states in her closing thoughts, our challenge in love is not in the discovering of it, as “love is in us. It’s deeply imbedded in the brain”. Rather, “Our challenge is to understand each other”, to consider the gender differences that we face in the intimacy that leads to romantic love, and to cultivate that intimacy in our desire to love and be loved in return.

Cultivating Love

March 30, 2017 / Beth Jacobs Bowen

If it is true that man is controlled by his desire to find his soul’s mate, then Aristophanes’ Myth provides the proof that his quest is not in vain. When we refer to our other halves, our lovers and spouses, it is with the notion that without them we are not whole. Our duality forms a complete union, our desires satisfied in the reflection of another. This intense need for completion, according to Aristophanes, derived from the separation of the whole self, an act of punishment by Zeus, for the mutinous crimes of the children on earth. Outside of mythology, we know that there are many factors that lead us in search of eros, or romantic love. Whether it is biology, lust, or the emotional connection we feel with another, a large majority of our lives is spent either fostering or finding romantic love.

The mortal children in Aristophanes’ Myth, those of the sun, earth, and moon, are whole beings, rounded in their bond with another. They know nothing of separation or yearning for another, and as such are able to focus their attention on their abilities. While they held the same emotional attachments that their eventual offspring would, the fact that they were already together as one meant that they didn’t have to go in search of another to find completion. Today, we are born separate, and utilize eros as choice, emotion, and passion to find and maintain love. Much like current society, the status among the children was striated. The children of the sun, the double male union, held the top position of status, and were heralded by Aristophanes as the “best of boys and youths, because they have the most manly nature”. These homosexual men, who in today’s society are viewed as less virile or manly, became the statesmen of society, the elite. They were considered “…valiant and manly, and have a manly countenance”. The children of the earth were the double female bonds, and held the middle ground in status. Their mentality was that of homosexual women, and were strong in their wholeness. The children of the moon, disparaged for their androgynous union of man and woman, were considered the lowest class, the abnormal, adulterous in nature. In our society, this union would be the common male and female connection, which is held now as the most ‘normal’ form. Regardless of the different natures of the people of society then versus now, the same underlying need for duality to attain wholeness exists,

In Aristophanes’ Myth, the children anger Zeus in their attempt to overthrow the gods. In their wholeness, Aristophanes found that “Terrible was their might and strength”. After careful consideration, Zeus decided to punish the children for their actions by cutting them in half, separating them from their other halves. To kill them off would mean no offers of sacrifice or worship for the gods, and by separating them, their population would double, and their strength divided by half. After having Appollo mend the people, Zeus demanded he leave them facing their lost halves to keep them humble in reminder of their mutiny. Only when the children begin to die, after becoming obsessed with finding a mate and neglecting themselves in the process, does Zeus move their genitalia to the front so that they can procreate and find pleasure in mating that would sate their needs, allowing them to eat and function. This state of being would become the changed foundation of human life. No longer would people be rounded, complete entities. Now, they would have to seek out completeness in the love of another.

In likeness, people find comfort and understanding. To “embrace that which is like them” is to appreciate the qualities that shape who they are. In Aristophanes’ Myth, he refers to the male unions, homosexual in nature after their separation, as originating from attraction to the attributes that define their manhood. They were “slices of the original man”, and are drawn to that image and likeness, as a result. The same is true for the female unions, also homosexual in nature, in that they too seek their resemblance in a mate. Aristophanes clarifies that while some people may find these homosexual unions shameless, they are in fact “valiant” and “do not act thus from any want of shame”. It is in the nature of companionship and carnal desire that we seek out eros. Much like the children in Aristophanes’ Myth, when we lose love, or whatever form of connection we have with another person, we generally return to our search. Our biological desires add to this in our reproductive years, but can be controlled by choice. However, our emotional needs are what drive this concept into a life-long quest, as we seek a companion for the inevitable road to death.

It is in our ability to find and cultivate love that we discover wholeness. The rounding of our character occurs in the balance of duality. Love is the glue that hold these bonds together, temporarily or beyond death. Regardless of the type of love, or the driving force behind it, most people are predestined to seek out the companionship of others. For it is in love that we are able to maintain the bonds necessary to promote continued human life.